Yesterday I ate a Luna bar that had a faint pot aftertaste.

I waited.

Nothing happened.

For a few years now, I have spent roughly $40-50 a week on groceries. Considering that I don’t eat out this amount comprises my weekly food costs. For the longest time I considered this a large sum. I was even a little bit ashamed, thinking that I spent entirely too much on groceries. I’m not really sure what created the shame and feelings of inadequacy, but they occurred nonetheless. Now as I talk about grocery spending, I’m finding that this is a pretty common number. It also illustrates how inconsistent one can be about sharing the banal aspects of daily life. Obviously these things are boring, but it seems finances are so rarely talked about beyond “being broke.” It seems I rarely discuss spending strategies and budgets with my friends. I’m not talking, “trying to spend less” but, rather, concrete strategies and methods that have worked in order to cut costs.

A conversation with my friend today about budgets made me realize this. She offered me tips and we talked about strategies. It was such a rare conversation, which struck me as odd as I went to go grocery shopping. Why is it me and my friends are so reluctant to talk about these things? Maybe it’s a lack of knowledge, since these types of things were never discussed in school. I took a special class outside of school to learn how to use and budget a checkbook, strange that this wouldn’t be commonplace in any school curriculum. My friends and I aren’t even rich, so it’s not as though we didn’t have to worry about funds. I guess I’m just a flake when it comes to daily responsibilities. I just got the oil changed in my car after driving 9,000 miles. Probably should have done it a while ago. I guess the oil was really low. I feel good when I fix these things, but also a little embarrassed about not having taken care of them sooner.

Maybe I’ll try to change this about myself. Work on it. Make improvements.

The best part is the green screen rapping

Bawm

Some kewl pictures:

From Chernobyl

I was reading some blogs today and came across this. Looks like Journey to the Center of the Earth. Pretty sweet, though I can imagine that the organic matter is brewing some gnarly structural problems for the future.

I WISH THAT EVERYONE DIDN’T KNOW EACHOTHER

If I stare intently at the back of someone’s head, that counts as making contact, doesn’t it? The stars say the sex appeal planet, Mars, is in my chart right now. This leads me to conclude that any old thing I do will be wildly seductive. Like staring at the back of someone’s head.

I’m made.

THE Book

This is the latest book I’m reading. Thank you to my friend for sending me this. I had been planning to buy The Street of Crocodiles by Mr. Schulz, but hadn’t quite managed before this little treasure arrived in the mail. I’m having a bit of a rough transition from Tolstoy to this– not that this is bad, the book is brilliant– but the writing style is much more surreal and playful than Tolstoy ever dares to toy with.

—> I have to, like, concentrate harder is what I mean. This is hardly conducive to casually staring at people at the coffee shop. I jest.

But, I have not been flying through this in the same fashion as I was with Tolstoy. It doesn’t help that I’ve been studying up on liquors and cocktails lately. Always dangerous as I now have several cocktails I want to try. Not enough hours in the day to be a lush.

Off to the dentist.

There are ways of going about things. If there weren’t things wouldn’t happen. Things are done and as such, there must be ways that these things/ events are accomplished. The problem lies in the fact that there are many options, many ways to accomplish these things, execute these tasks, et cetera. Some of these ways are better than others. We know this. At least most of the time, which is why we have been allowed to continue interacting and living within society without direct imprisonment. But, in spite of our knowledge of the proper way of going about things, circumstances can change and lead us to believe we are trapped.

And herein lies the danger.

Because when we feel trapped, those animal instincts, that brain stem becomes activated and we lash out. We ignore that prefrontal cortex and its ability to reason and we react. Usually poorly. Usually in ways that are effective but carry consequences that often exacerbate the previous problem.

And that’s where I am at. I lost the ability to see what the other options were because I panicked. Hopefully the repercussions can remain localized.